B”H
Recently at Chabad’s Friday Night Oneg, we were fortunate to have with us a special guest speaker. Chana Weisberg, editor of JewishWomen.org and au
thor of several books, shared with us “Secrets of the Garden” in her talk about relationships - and what can be learned about men and women from the story of the Garden of Eden. For those who couldn’t make it and said to me “I wish I could have been there” and for all those who were there, and would like a refresher… here we go.
After lightening up the crowd with her wit and humor, Chana Weisberg began by demonstrating the different styles of men and women. She held up signs that showed a comment of what a woman might say to her husband… and then she asked the crowd “What is she really trying to say?” Then she
did the same for men’s comments. She did this several times always engaging the participants. Using specific examples, she explained how these differences in styles date back to our origins even as the Torah describes in Adam and Eve right from the beginning. It’s natural that there can be challenges when we are wired differently like that. And yet, when we have tools to work things through and truly try to understand the other, this can make the relationship especially meaningful and even passionately so.
Mrs. Weisberg elaborated further on the differences between the genders using the paradigm of a circle and a line. The circle connects with the woman as the line connects with the man. Various traditions tie into this concept. During the wedding Chupah ceremony, the bride circles around 
the groom. There is the ring that the bride receives, perfectly round. We see this line and circle theme on many levels – from the physiological make up even to emotional styles. While a man might prefer the straight line approach in getting from “point a” to “point b”, the woman might choose the circular path. While on the path she makes connections… Is one way better than the other? Each may have its benefits but how does this work for compatibility? Chana continued to share more thoughts and ideas of what can be helpful in this potentially dichotomous situation.
Towards the end, Chana also shared how the system of Taharat Hamishpocha, the laws of family purity and Mikvah, as it pertains within the context of a marriage between a Jewish husband and wife, actually support healthy relationships. G-d who knows his creations and the challenges that can exist in a long-term marriage relationship, provided us with a special mitzvah that addresses the enhancing and strengthening of relationship from various angles. If anyone would like to learn more about this please feel free to contact me at [email protected].
Of course the above is barely a synopsis. It is impossible to convey to depth and beauty of Chana Weisberg’s eloquent talk. Her talk was practical, down-to-earth, and relatable to all (whether in a marriage or not). As she quoted texts and sources in her articulate talk, it was clear to all that she is a truly educated woman. When her talk was over, one of the women said, “I could sit here listening to you for another hour!” – and the others agreed.